Perfection really

Get it where you can...

“Life is just blah blah blah. You hope for blah and sometimes you find it. But mostly it’s blah. And waiting for blah. And hoping you were right about the blahs you made. And then just when you think you’ve got the whole blah-damn thing figured out, and surrounded by the ones you blah, death shows up. And blah. Blah. Blah.”

Thanks for that Uncle Andy

Rawsome!

One of my goals I want to achieve this year is to get back to eating a high raw food diet. Last year for about 3 months I went completely raw which was incredible but of course didn't last. I went raw in winter which was the worst time because naturally all I was craving were starchy fats. So I fell off the raw wagon in a big way and just started eating any old thing, pizza, pasta, white bread, sugar. But throughout this period I knew that somehow I wanted to get back to a high raw diet but had no idea how. Since about December I managed to eliminate dairy and meat and in January I ditched fish so I was vegan which was something - not great but something but even this wasn't built on a particularly solid foundation and I was starting to get the cravings again for cheese recently. Fortunately I was saved from an imminent slide backwards thanks to my in-raw Kelly sending me an email telling m Victoria Boutenko coming to town to do a lecture on her specialist field: the green smoothie.
I had messed around a bit with green smoothies before because I'd seen and read a bit of information about this on other raw websites but of course I was doing it in a way that meant short term gain but not sustainable over the duration. So last night I went to see Victoria talk for close to two hours just on the green smoothie. Now I get why they are so good for you - stomach acid. Basically the higher intake of greens means the stomach produces more hydrochloric acids which assist with breaking down food better leading to better nutrition which means more energy and greater health. And as an aside although completely related according to Boutenko a lack of hydrochloric acid has a tendency to show up as noticeably greying hair in those over forty (yikes!) but if you drink your greens daily this can actually be reversed. So if having great skin, high energy levels and mental clarity weren’t enough, chuck in hair and I am sold!
But what really got me listening was the relationship between drinking greens and the liver. I am fairly preoccupied with this as I have a liver that doesn’t function as optimally as it could due to hepatitis c. For years my liver function tests have come back normal but I know that there aren’t that many options for actually clearing hep c apart from (what my friend Stephen Piper calls it) getting the fear on - interferon - hideous form of chemotherapy that sometimes doesn’t even work. So when it was mentioned that green smoothies boost production of bile which in turn assists with liver function I was all ears. I am due to get a blood test again soon to check my alts so I will be interested to see if this actually makes any difference.

Boutenko’s book Green for Life pretty much covers everything and her website is a huge resource for all things green and raw.

This mornings green smoothie consisted of:

1 cup of apple juice
1 cup of water
Kale
Cucumber
2 golden kiwifruit
Banana
Mint
Ice

I drank 2 large glasses and it was tasty, kind of like spirulina but not as gag inducing. Will post different versions as I experiment.

Further celebratory frivolity

jumped up on raw vegan chocolate I managed to get quite a bit done today. shock horror!

In celebration of finding and filling out those forms

Even though this has absolutely nothing to do with that at all.

Same old, same old....

I have a new tattoo. Really new and it's on my arm. My first one on on my arm and of course and predictably I am freaking out after the fact. Naturally, I can't change any of it and i know it's permanent and all of that but of course I get all nervous about things and wonder if I haven't just made a terrible mistake and am having a weird reaction to the fact that i turn 42 in less than a month. I don't really know why but the thought of it is making me feel all jumpy. Lately I can't concentrate. I can't do anything. I have to get my finances sorted for university which starts in a week right and I can't even bring myself to find the form. I want to run away again. I hate the idea that I have to stay put for the next two years. That I have made this choice to finish my degree - that in itself is so counter to my nature. Which has nothing to do with getting another tattoo and everything to do with it...
Related but entirely unrelated is the fact that I have to rewrite my short story again. I reread it again last night. God, every time I rewrite it I think I've nailed it, but then I reread it and I know I haven't. Then I get all depressed and shitty and want to give up writing for good and I spend time looking at airfares and planing where I could go. And I come to the conclusion that anywhere of course would be better than here even though my limited skill base would actually mean the type of work I end up getting wouldn't pay above minimum wage. Even more depressing... The best I can come up with is some kind of loose plan to go away for my holidays. I have a month between semesters and I think I might go to New York, maybe LA although I kind of loathe LA because of the need for a car and I don't have any desire to drive in that city at all so it kind of screws it up for me in a way. I don't know. Vague plans made by a vague mind....

Sunday night, border radio and Patti Smith

I am watching epic cloudscapes drift across the sky in the last remaining minutes of twilight. Might be my favourite time of day, those few minutes where you can actually see the sky change from day to night. I am never up early enough to watch it change back though. I don't know that I would actually enjoy as that much. Bernie's show is so good tonight, it's on 95Bfm from 7pm to 9pm on Sunday nights. Always good and seems to be the only thing that helps me shake off those bad Sunday night blues. I don't watch tv anymore so sitting down and listening to a radio show is really something. I don't actually sit still for the entire 2 hours, it's on in the background while I do other things but for a while now I have been pretty committed to listening on a regular basis and I am never disappointed. Tonight he played Dancing Barefoot by Patti Smith which I haven't heard for so long and of course I remembered what a goddess PS is and how I love her still. I think there was even a time I wanted to be her. Not literally of course but I think that every girl who ends up playing in a band at some point or another has had to have been inspired in someway by her. I get all nostalgic every time I hear her remembering how I only wanted to be in a band with my friends and nothing else mattered. Looking back on it now I am so glad I did it. I don't know if I could pull it off now. I have no idea where the fire has gone. There was a moment back in the 90's where it was all about grrl power - god even writing that makes me cringe like crazy - and it was great. It was such a fierce time in music for women and I am so glad, so glad I got caught up in the frenzy of it all. It's hard to know if things really changed long term but at least they were shaken up. I guess there's nothing like ramming the neck of a guitar straight into an amp just for shits and giggles is there?

Thanks jj for everything





and Precious




Patricia, you still rock